


i am yours for as long as i live

by bbubblegums



Category: To All the Boys I've Loved Before Series - Jenny Han, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018)
Genre: Angst, Coming Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Internalized Homophobia, Jealousy, best friends to enemies to lovers, whether or not lara jean and peter dated is your choice i didnt really make it a thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:22:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22806265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bbubblegums/pseuds/bbubblegums
Summary: "What are you doing here?"Genevieve is feeling so many emotions she thinks she might just explode.or: gen shows up at the treehouse in the middle of the night, in need to tell lara jean something.
Relationships: Genevieve "Gen"/Lara Jean Song-Covey, Genevieve "Gen"/Peter Kavinsky
Comments: 3
Kudos: 79





	i am yours for as long as i live

**Author's Note:**

> this is literally my first ao3 fanfic?!!?! i dont know how to write.  
> lara jean nonbinary they/them.

Lara Jean can tell as soon as they get a text from Genevieve to meet her in the treehouse at one in the morning, that something must be wrong.

They wouldn't be exactly incorrect either.

You'd think someone like Lara Jean would simply put their phone on Do Not Disturb, and peacefully drift back into sleep, but they were stuffing their head inside a hoodie. They knew their flip-flops would not be the best shoes to wear knowing the snow on the ground would be seeping through onto their already cold feet, but their Uggs were right across the room Kitty was sleeping in. (Kitty is a very light sleeper.)

They knew not to make the same mistake they've made dozens of times sneaking out of their window, however still ended up landing on their hands. "Ow."

The leaves crunched on their unfitting shoes as LJ walked closer and closer to the treehouse. They were completely unprepared for anything that was about to be said, but continued to walk. They took a deep breath as they reached the latter. Knowing that they were just inches away from Genevieve made them uncomfortable.

They slowly climbed up the ladder, and were met with the face of Gen, whose hair was sloppily put into a messy bun. She wore a hoodie that went down to her mid-thighs, and sweatpants that were clearly two sizes too big. The mascara marks running down her face were unfortunately not as hidden as she hoped for them to be.

Before Lara Jean could say anything, they quickly took look to their surroundings. They hadn't remembered the last time they had been in here. _Was it during the time-capsule party?_ They were thankful the owners of the house near never took it down, after they had started babysitting kids that adored it. That explains all the board games inside that Lara Jean knew wasn't theirs.

Lara Jean let out a breath they had no idea they were holding in, "Okay, Gen, let's get to the point... What are you doing here? Why are you here?"

"Someone's excited to see me." She joked, as LJ's face stayed the same.

"I'm being serious."

Genevieve sighed, shifting her weight onto her other leg as she scooted over for Lara Jean to sit next to her. "I know."

Lara Jean had only gotten two hours worth of sleep, while Gen had been running on adrenaline. There was no idea of how this conversation would end up. _What even does she need to say to me? Auughhh._

"I just... I need to tell you something. Because it's been going through my head over and over again for months now and I just need to get it out." She rambled on, worrying LJ about what was to be said. They finally stopped staring and sat down.

"You know how I started hating you because you kissed Peter?" She asked, as LJ gave her a look. "Okay, stupid question, I know you remember it."

"I was just so mad... So mad that it wasn't me being kissed. But I lied to you, I lied to you for so many years, Lara Jean. Peter wasn't the one I wanted to kiss, it was you." LJ's head bounced up, becoming completely awake from the information that was just given to them. _Had she still wanted to kiss me?_ They became confused. _Then why would Gen--_

"I don't know, I guess I thought that if you liked Peter, then me getting with him would make you jealous. But then he really did say yes to me, and I tried so hard to convince myself that I wasn't a lesbian, even though I was constantly thinking about you, and not him. I don't even know how our relationship went on for so long. None of it felt real for me, and Peter could tell that something was up."

_Why was she telling me this? After all these years, she's just now telling me? What am I supposed to say? AM I supposed to say something?_ They noticed that Gen was holding her friendship bracelet in hand, as tears dripped down her chin.

She sniffled. "And after so many years, I just missed you. In the friendship way. I had ruined almost everything but I had tried to force onto myself that it was your fault. But it wasn't, it was mine." 

Words came out of Lara Jean's mouth without them wanting any to. "No, it wasn't, Gen. You had every right to hate me."

"But the thing is, I never hated you, LJ. It's okay to admit we fell apart because of me. I just needed you to know how I felt. I still can't ever bring myself to hate you... or even dislike you. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone." Now Lara Jean felt tears rushing down their face. Gen took notice. 

"Do you remember that word you said we had? It was--"

"Jeong."

_The connection between two people that can't be severed. Even when love turns to hate, you will always have tenderness in your heart for them._

Their breath hitched.

"I love you too, Gen. I've never stopped."

Genevieve sighed, jumping into Lara Jean's arms. They thought, _will I grow to love Gen? Give her my heart? Be her lover?_ The answer was uncertain now, but they knew they needed to live in the moment, not overthink what could happen.

"And-- I had a crush on you in the fourth grade. Just for a week though." LJ whispered through the crook of Gen's neck, as they both laughed through their sobs.

"I know I need to make it up to you. And I will do whatever you want for the rest of eternity. But can we please... at least be.. friends? For now?"

Lara Jean felt too much love in their heart, they didn't know what to do with it. Except...

They quickly pressed their lips onto the girl, whose eyes widened in surprise.

"Is that your answer?" They smiled, before kissing once again.

_What I've realized through the years, is romance isn't expected, at least the good kind. And I don't need a prince in shining armor to come rescue me, when the princess was right there the whole time._


End file.
